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What Am I?

I dress in the uniform dictated for me,

   but I will only wear my own face.

I can swing a hammer,

    but nails escape my notice.

"X" marks the spot,

    but does not signify my destiny.

            I don't bake buns in my kitchen.

What am I?


No true woman. I wear women's clothes but not makeup. I don't do my nails. I don't prefer "feminine" activities. I'm biologically female, but I don't want to have children. Therefore I'm not a "real" woman to some.

I went to the Wars,

    but I haven't been Trekking.

I've found serenity,

    but I don't know the Lord.

Knights, thieves, kings and villains share my table,

    but my gatherings are mundane.

            I only own one set of dice.

What am I?


No true geek. I'm a fan of Star Wars, but haven't seen much Star Trek. I love Firefly, but not Doctor Who. I've played D&D, but never Magic the Gathering. Apparently that's not enough to fulfill some people's "geek" qualifications.

I love the flavor of fresh apple pie,

    but I hate how the baker slices it unevenly.

I enjoy great liberty to speak,

    but I wish listening held more value.

If you give me an inch,

    I will take a kilometer.

            I wish I spoke another language.

What am I?


No true American. I'm a citizen of America and like some things about it, but I don't like our social inequalities. Freedom of speech is great, but sometimes we should shut up and learn from other countries. I wish we'd switch to the metric system, and I don't think English is the only "true" American language.

I've lived many full lives,

   but I've never had half of one.

I've crossed countless universes,

    but never approached the edge of the sky.

The Lords of Hell have perished by my hand,

    but there is no redemption for me.

            My baked goods have never deceived me.

What am I?


No true gamer. I enjoy video games, but haven't played several that apparently "real" gamers MUST play. Referenced here are Half Life (line 2), Skyrim (line 4), Diablo (line 5), Red Dead Redemption (line 6) and Portal (line 7).


( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 28th, 2014 11:14 pm (UTC)
This appeals to me.
Apr. 29th, 2014 06:57 pm (UTC)
You appeal to me.
Apr. 29th, 2014 03:24 am (UTC)
I love how you did this and how you explain it. Very creative! Great job! :)
Apr. 29th, 2014 06:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I felt like the explanations were necessary, because the riddles themselves came out kind of opaque.
Apr. 29th, 2014 10:12 am (UTC)
Very well done.
Apr. 29th, 2014 06:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Apr. 29th, 2014 11:15 am (UTC)
Amazing! Enjoyed this format. Well done!
Apr. 29th, 2014 06:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I like experimenting with different formats.
Apr. 29th, 2014 10:57 pm (UTC)
I liked the riddles here, and how each describes falling short by someone else's measure, even though you clearly are all of these things.

My baked goods have never deceived me.
I don't even know what that means, but I just like the idea of deceptive baked goods. :D
Apr. 30th, 2014 12:51 am (UTC)
It's a reference to the game Portal. The main character is a "test subject" and is promised cake as a reward for completing the test. But at some point in the game, he starts seeing messages scrawled on walls that say "The cake is a lie." It's now a commonly-quoted line among gamers.
Apr. 30th, 2014 01:00 am (UTC)
Ah, now "The cake is a lie" is something I _have_ heard. But independent of the source. :)
Apr. 30th, 2014 12:12 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed this entry of riddles. These answers could be mine (except the trekking part, because I'm a Trekkie).

This is my favorite entry so far.
Apr. 30th, 2014 12:52 am (UTC)
Aw, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and it's kind of comforting to know that others can relate to it.
Apr. 30th, 2014 12:58 am (UTC)
The third riddle really struck a chord with me, because that really could be me.
Apr. 30th, 2014 03:32 am (UTC)
Great use of lj-cuts and fun little riddles!
Apr. 30th, 2014 04:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I've never used the cuts before, but I'm glad I figured it out. My first idea was to have hidden text that you'd have to highlight to read, but that's awkward.
May. 1st, 2014 01:38 am (UTC)
awesome executed! ^.^
May. 1st, 2014 01:50 am (UTC)
Thank you!
May. 2nd, 2014 12:01 am (UTC)
I got all of these, except the last one (though I did at least get the general reference because of the line, "my baked goods have never deceived me" ...and now I have song in my head, dammit!) ...I'm not a video gamer, though I am peripheral to video gaming through associations with plenty of folks who are. I enjoy table top games. But I could relate to you at every other turn in, in every respect, though I'm into a few more things on the geek scale, and yet still I'm often told I'm not "geek enough." *sigh* I hear ya, sista.

Edited at 2014-05-02 12:03 am (UTC)
May. 2nd, 2014 12:55 am (UTC)
Now I have the song in my head, too.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )